Hating Mother's Day won't help...but a Robot will.
© diane green
Mom & Babies - Mixed Media - © diane green 2022
Mother's Day can be a day of heightened emotions, and it's completely understandable to feel hurt if you feel your kids don't appreciate you. Here's a different perspective:
Kids aren't always great at expressing themselves. Maybe they don't know how to show their love in a way you understand.
Are there underlying issues? Is there something going on that's making them act out? Talking to them calmly could help.
Focus on the positive. Do they ever show you they care in other ways?
Here are some things you can try:
Talk to them directly. Let them know how their actions make you feel.
Spend quality time together. Plan an activity you both enjoy, even if it's just staring into space.
Lower your expectations. Maybe a perfect Mother's Day isn't realistic right now.
Remember, strong relationships take work. There are resources available to help with communication and understanding your kids.
Here are some additional thoughts:
Mother's Day doesn't define your worth. You're a great mom, even if today isn't perfect.
Focus on self-care. Do something you enjoy, even if it's just taking a relaxing bath.
“Dead mothers always get better Mother's Days.”
I understand you're hurting. It's a painful statement, and the truth is Mother's Day can be incredibly difficult after losing your mom…or kid.
Here's the thing: Your feelings are valid. It's okay to feel sad, angry, or even jealous.
While it might seem like deceased mothers get a "perfect" day filled with flowers and memories, the reality is they aren't here to experience it. They'd much rather be celebrating with you.
Here are some ways to honor your mom on Mother's Day, even though she's gone:
Share memories. Look at photos, tell stories about her to your kids, or cook her favorite meal.
Do something she loved. Go for a walk in nature, volunteer for a cause she cared about, or listen to her favorite music.
Write a letter. Express your feelings, tell her how much you miss her, and share memories you cherish.
Remember, grief is a journey, and there's no right or wrong way to feel. If you'd like to talk about your mom or need resources for coping with grief, find a friend or therapist to listen and offer support.
“Can I just leave the planet for Mother's Day?”
Leaving the planet for Mother's Day isn't currently possible with our technology, but I understand why you might want to escape. This day can be tough.
Here are some alternative ideas that might be more realistic:
Plan a staycation. Book a hotel room for a night or two and enjoy some peace and quiet.
Have a self-care day. Get a massage, take a long bath, or do whatever makes you feel relaxed and pampered.
Go on a day trip. Escape the city and explore a new place.
Do something you enjoy. Spend the day reading, watching movies, or pursuing a hobby.
If you do want to acknowledge your mom, you could:
Leave her a heartfelt note. Tell her how much you appreciate her, even if things are strained right now.
Do something kind for someone else. Volunteering or helping a friend in need can be a way to honor your mom's spirit.
Remember, you don't have to spend the day with your mom if it's going to be a negative experience. It's perfectly okay to prioritize your own well-being.
“Some kids no longer speak to their mom.”
That sounds like a difficult situation. It's understandable that you miss your son or daughter and want to reconnect. Here are some steps that might help:
Consider the reason for the estrangement: While you may not know for sure, reflecting on any past arguments or conflicts could be a starting point.
Write a letter: Expressing your love and regret (if applicable) in a heartfelt letter can be a non-threatening way to initiate contact. You can acknowledge their feelings and your desire to rebuild the relationship.
Seek professional guidance: A therapist specializing in family dynamics can offer tools and strategies for approaching your daughter or son. They can also help you manage your expectations and emotions.
Respect your kid’s boundaries: If their not responding to your attempts to reach out, give them space. However, you can let your kid know you'll always be there for them when they’re ready.
Here are some resources that might be helpful:
The Gottman Institute: Focuses on healthy communication in relationships. https://www.gottman.com/
The National Healthy Marriage Resource Center: - Provides information and resources for improving family relationships http://www.healthymarriageinfo.org/
The American Psychological Association - Forgiveness: Explores the concept of forgiveness and its role in healing relationships.
Remember, reconciliation takes time and effort. The most important thing is to show your children you love and respect them, and that you're open to rebuilding a connection whenever they are ready.
“How do i stop crying?”
It's okay to cry, crying is a natural release of emotions. If you want to try and stop crying, here are a few techniques that might help:
Focus on your breath. Take slow, deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. This can help calm your body and mind.
Physical techniques. Tense and relax your muscles, or splash some cold water on your face.
Distraction. Do something to take your mind off what's making you cry. Listen to music, read a book, or watch a funny video.
Self-soothe. Cuddle up with a blanket, hug a loved one (if you have someone you feel comfortable with), or hold a warm beverage.
If you feel overwhelmed and can't seem to stop crying, here are some resources that might be helpful:
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 or 1-800-273-8255
The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 - Provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ youth.
Remember, you're not alone. There are people who care about you and want to help.